Saturday, October 5, 2024

Kimberly Cheatle Tries (but fails) Suicide at GITMO

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By Michael Baxter

Disgraced former Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle was hospitalized at Naval Hospital Guantanamo Bay Friday evening after slicing open her left wrist with a metal strip she had removed from her bra, GITMO sources told Real Raw News.

At approximately 10:30 p.m., a Camp Delta MP checking the cell block’s live video feed saw Cheatle lacerate herself with a semirigid wire, causing blood to spray from her wrist. She immediately collapsed to the floor shrieking and had lost a considerable amount of blood by the time paramedics arrived at the cell two minutes later.

Paramedics, our source said, managed to stabilize Cheatle, then brought the wailing bitch to the hospital for further treatment. Cheatle is still infirmed in “stable” condition as of this writing.

A search of her cell revealed that Cheatle had somehow got an underwire bra, considered contraband at Camp Delta. She had detached the nylon caps on either end of the wire and sharpened the steel against the cement floor.

“Hers is one of several cells we’ve put cameras in, but the MPs watching the feed are cycling between four, five, six cells and not seeing everything happening in real-time. The guards were interviewed, and none said they saw her remove the wire from her bra and sharpen it. But when we watched a replay, it was there.

Those bras are forbidden. Female detainees are issued soft cup bras, so we right now don’t know how she got the underwire. She didn’t know how to gash herself to bleed out quickly, but sure as hell was trying to kill herself,” our source said.

Cheatle, he added, has been uncommunicative and unforthcoming since her arrest on July 23 but hadn’t until Friday displayed suicidal tendencies. Army Criminal Investigation Division investigators had reportedly “roughed up” Cheatle ahead of sending her to GITMO.

“It happens,” our source said. “Sometimes a little aggressive interrogation is needed. But Cheatle ain’t talking, and we’re sure she has answers we need regarding the assassination attempt on President Trump.

We want to prove she ordered the Secret Service to avoid the building the sniper was on, and it’d be nice to prove she knew the person who pulled the trigger, and we’re not even certain it was Thomas Crooks. She’ll face a tribunal either way, but once she’s on the mend, we’ll still press her pretty hard for answers.”

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Helena Carey
Helena Carey
Helena Carey is a seasoned news author renowned for her engaging storytelling and insightful analysis. With a decade of journalism experience, she's a trusted voice in the ever-evolving news landscape.

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