Sunday, November 24, 2024

Marines Fight Criminal Feds in Florida

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By Michael Baxter

United States Marines on Monday fought a deadly battle against armed Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) and FBI agents in Sarasota County after Hurricane Debby crashed ashore, bringing with it catastrophic flooding and life-threatening storm surge, sources in General Eric M. Smith’s office told Real Raw News.

Expecting that resilient FEMA goons would once again exploit a natural disaster, the general last week deployed three Marine platoons to coastal communities within the storm’s projected cone of uncertainty, his decision based on FEMA’s penchant for tormenting and burglarizing storm victims. Our source said FEMA has been looting storm-stricken homes and citizens since the Clinton era.

As Debby neared landfall, the Marines spread out across Dixie and Sarasota counties, helping residents sandbag homes and board up windows in flood-prone areas while watching for signs of FEMA activity. It’s unclear if Gen. Smith authorized the Marines to moonlight as repairmen or if they charitably, selflessly appointed themselves handymen.

The Marines, our source said, went above and beyond the call of duty, even assisting in water rescues as the storm churned ashore and residents found themselves trapped in flooded vehicles and submerged dwellings. In Crawfordville, two Marines pulled a drowning toddler from a street-turned-river, and the child’s grateful mother promised to alert the Marines if she spotted nefarious FEMA types prowling in her neighborhood.

“Despite DeSantis’ past chumminess with [FEMA Director Deanne] Crisswell, Floridians know that when FEMA comes to town, trouble follows. FEMA’s done more damage to the state than any thousand storms combined,” our source said. “And, no, we did not ask his permission to be there.”

Agency officials, he added, began descending on Sarasota after the storm had moved inland and hooked northeast toward Georgia and South Carolina. First came a benign-looking Rapid Response Team, field managers dressed in suits and rain slickers, and driving Toyota Land Cruisers and GM Hummers able to traverse flooded roadways. Marines cautiously tailed the small convoy to the Sarasota Emergency Management public safety office, a two-story concrete building on Porter Way, directly east of Interstate 75, and encircled them in the parking lot.

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The Marines fired without warning, their rounds slicing through glass, aluminum, fiberglass, and flesh, shredding four agents who died reaching for their sidearms. One agent took a round to the back of the head. The bullet went straight through his cranium and pushed an eyeball, dangling from a veiny threat, out of its socket.

The few FEMA who successfully drew pistols stood no chance against the heavily armed Marines. One agent, apparently the agent-in-charge, said he was surrendering, but the Marines weren’t feeling overly lenient—they gunned him down where he stood.

Suddenly a Marine fell to the ground, blood spraying from his neck. Still alive, he covered the wound with the palm of his hand and shouted, “I’m hit, I’m hit.”

Windows on the second floor had been flung open, and rifle barrels appeared on the sills.

The Marines dove for cover behind vehicles as enemy rounds zipped through the air and ricocheted off of the pavement. Behind one of the windows, a male’s voice, amplified by a bullhorn, commanded the Marines to lay down their arms and surrender by order of the FBI.

Though covered from an elevated position, a tactically disadvantageous situation, the Marines told the feds to f*** themselves and unleashed a hailstorm of bullets at the open windows, hoping to either hit the federal snipers or force their retreat.  The Marines and the feds seemed at a stalemate when one courageous Marine emerged from his concealed location wielding an M32 Multi-Shot Grenade Launcher, a handheld arsenal capable of successively firing six 40mm high-explosive or incendiary grenades.

He squeezed off four shots, one into each open window. Smoke billowed from the windows. Screams, the wailing sound of death, emanated from within. A man’s face, scorched and blistered, his hair singed to his scalp, appeared in a window, crying out, “Help, I’m burning.”

A Marine shot him in the face, ending his suffering.

The Marines, our source said, cleared the building and found no survivors, only four dead federal agents.

“The oddest thing is that no Florida Emergency Management personnel were in the building. It’s like the feds commandeered it for their own diabolical reasons. The Marines stacked all the corpses inside so the feds could come clean up their own mess. Unfortunately, the Marine who got shot didn’t survive. At least we got 16 FEMA and FBI in total. I guess we can call that a win.”

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When asked whether the Marines had violated General Smith’s rules of engagement by firing without determining FEMA’s and the FBI’s reason for being at the public safety office, our source said, “Rules of engagement? When it comes to FEMA, there are no rules of engagement. Those went out the window after Maui. And the FBI, well, they drew first blood.”

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Helena Carey
Helena Carey
Helena Carey is a seasoned news author renowned for her engaging storytelling and insightful analysis. With a decade of journalism experience, she's a trusted voice in the ever-evolving news landscape.

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